Post prego, pooped, and pretty behind. 

*warning graphic detail below*

  
We’ve had a pretty eventful past few months which has lead to my lack of posting.

We found out we were pregnant with baby number 2 about 2 months ago and we were so surprised! We had been “trying” in preparation of using our frozen embryos in about 6 months. Well to our surprise things worked on our own and were facing the reality of having kids only 14 months apart.

Pregnancy number 2 started out pretty different from the first time around in that I felt pretty good and didn’t have any of the side effects of IVF or overstimulation. So that part was great to feel semi-normal and not be in so much pain. But I still had the nausea, actute smell sensitivity, dizziness, and exhaustion.

 
We had been to see the OB/GYN several times and each ultrasound and test looked great! We were told everything was progressing normally and things looked good.

At 10 weeks things took a sudden turn for the worst and I started bleeding and after 2 days I finally miscarried. On day 3 I was rushed to the ER for an emergency D&C to stop hemmoraging. Finally after the surgery I felt like a person again and was no longer in horrific pain.

  

Looking back on this experience I find it amazing all of the things the body can do. In just 10 weeks it can create a tiny human and your body can change so significantly. It’s no wonder how difficult the first trimester is because your body is literally working overdrive producing so much “stuff” just to sustain a tiny life. I found this incredible and I’m so grateful that my body was able to do this on my own, without medicine interceding.

 

I also learned that labor and “child birth” is a crazy process and I’m so thankful for being able to have Cooper cesarian.  The tiny glimpse I got of labor was terrible and enough to scar someone for life. I admire women that can do it with no drugs and not a single complaint. I sure complained and literally thought I was dying. Clearly I’m just not meant for that and I can find millions of things I’m better at. But again, the body is amazing.

I’m sorry for the graphic content and details but I felt I needed to put my thoughts somewhere and someone needs to talk about the reality of miscarriages. People leave out the details and just tell you it was hard. Well it physically was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through and emotionally it is just a scar only you can see. And I wasn’t even hardly far along at all. I can’t even imagine what others have gone through.

My doctor said we can try again once I have a normal period and I feel optimistic about our future. Again I just feel blessed to have even gotten pregnant on our own. And it just makes me even more amazed about how we have this perfect, adorable, amazing Cooper who I get to love all day. We love him and he is our miracle.

And a huge thank you to our friends and family for the love and support. Thank you for the kind words from strangers to cards, hugs, and so many prayers. We feel loved. Thank you!

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